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TOMBOYS are not girls/ladies who act like Men. One
time randomly try asking around, "Define a tomboy..." and see the
kind of responses you get. People have diverse perspective on that but yet a certain
percentage, obvious a big number will say something like or near to "they
are girls/women who act or try acting like men". That's lame, honestly. A
tomboy is any girl/lady who exhibits characteristics that are typically
considered to be of the male gender. They don't adopt it coz' it’s not a
culture or lifestyle to them. View it this way, being masculine or feminine is
not something that you learn to be or bend rules to be like one can in a
lifestyle, one simply grows into it. Same theory applies to tommys, they are
born and with time they become what they are and not what they want to be.
Nairobi, being an urban capital city we expect people
to be civilized. When they see a tomboy they should not be asking "are you
male or female?" It sucks. Tomboys don't get to go to some clubs
especially in town coz' they've been restricted; in others bouncers at the
entrances charge them in order to be allowed in. When they step into the female
section at any washrooms whether public, in hotels, clubs etc... They’re stared
at and such thoughts going through minds 'What is he doing here?' A time
bouncers pick and throw them out, under what circumstance? 'You went rogue!'
Female guards at any building's entrance will never frisk a
tommy even if they insist they ainn’ male, if you don't get over it, it might
turn into a scene. So what happens? They always go to the male guards and most
of them never even realize.
It’s hard being a tomboy in Kenya. Our society doesn’t
embrace them and instead they see and treat them like aliens. Never
presume that any tommy you come across is gay coz you have no idea
unless they tell you so or you actually witness that. These are the kind of
stereotypes that our society is built on. Tomboys become victims of verbal and
physical assault, stigma, and discrimination to mention a few. Despite all this
hardships, they still live on. Most of them say if they had an option to either
be femme/girly-girly, tomboys or men they’d still want to be what they are,
tommys. They don’t wanna be men.
Generally a big number of them begin showing
signs at an early age. This ranges between the ages of 4- 10 years and some
might delay to perhaps teen age that is between 13-18 years. As tender as 4
years one will dissent wearing girly staff and games and rather they’d prefer
to join boys play with them and maintain a boyish dress code. Parents/guardians
will take it for a phase that their kid will get over with age; that never
happens. On the other hand, we also have counterfeits too; they just wake up
one morning and decide to become tomboys. It’s easy to tell who’s authentic and
who’s not by simply looking at the way they present themselves and behave.
Amma’ tomboy myself and most of this things a
talk from experience and what I see day in day out; so I know what it's like
being one.
